Here are some responses to questions often asked regarding homosexuality. I pray you will understand, no matter how you are affected by homosexuality, there is hope in Jesus, when you deal with it according to the truth of God’s Word!
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).
Q. Is homosexuality wrong in God’s eyes?
A. Yes, but because of what Jesus did, there is hope!
Q. Does God love homosexuals?
A. Yes, absolutely! God is love and He loves all sinners. He doesn’t even label people, heterosexual or homosexual; or “gay” or “straight”, but simply man and woman.
But while God is love, He is also holy! Because of His moral perfection, God will judge sin. Since we have all sinned, there seemed to be no hope. The “good news” is God provided the way when He became man in the person of Jesus Christ and then died for our sins on the cross. All people who trust in Jesus Christ’s death on the cross for the forgiveness of their sins and repent of their sins receive the gift of eternal life!
Q. Is change possible for the homosexual?
A. Yes, absolutely! There are thousands of “ex-gays” who have chosen to move out of a homosexual lifestyle through the power of Jesus Christ.
Q. Can a person be homosexual one day and be straight the next?
A. God has worked this miracle in some lives, but it isn’t His usual practice. Homosexuals usually must change their behavior the same way as alcoholics, workaholics, overeaters, and sex addicts, etc., one day at a time. But God’s forgiveness, unconditional love, and acceptance make this possible. His grace releases a person from bondage and gives them the inner moral strength to make wise daily choices, leading them to wholeness.
Q. Aren’t “ex-gays” just repressing their true feelings?
A. Same-sex feelings disappear over time; it is part of the change process. Any time we seek to stop a certain type of behavior, that does not mean our desires or tendencies toward that behavior stop immediately. As the underlying causes of those feelings are resolved, the same-sex attractions/feelings will lessen in frequency and intensity and eventually be gone.
Q. Ok, so people can change their homosexual behavior, but what about their orientation?
Yes, change goes far deeper than just behavior. But change at a deep level takes longer.
Q. Can a person be homosexual and Christian at the same time?
A. When a person enters into a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ, they may struggle with all sorts of feelings and memories because of their previous lifestyle and behavior. This may cause what the Bible calls temptations in their life. Temptation toward immoral behavior is not sin; but yielding to it is sin. But the Bible clearly states that all homosexual behavior is sinful, and must be forsaken in the life of a Christian believer. When Christians fall into any type of sinful moral behavior, they must ask God’s forgiveness and keep moving forward with a clean heart. This is different than embracing these wrong behaviors as a legitimate lifestyle and forming your identity as a person around that immoral lifestyle. Plainly stated, we can not be an obedient Christians and remain involved in sexual behavior which God has prohibited for His children.
Q. Ok, all that you’ve said to this point implies there is something wrong with homosexuality. Isn’t that judgmental?
A. No, when you say that you are appealing to your sense of right and wrong. This ministry’s sense of right and wrong is based on the Word of God, the Bible, which states clearly that homosexual behavior is not God’s plan for men and women. So, the ministry is not judging people, but rather, communicating the Bible’s viewpoint on homosexuality and the wonderful change that is possible through Jesus Christ!
Q. Aren’t you just unloving like so many other Christians?
A. Well, I admit, many Christians have been unloving or immature when dealing with this issue and their actions have not been Christ-like. But a loving Christian should not remain silent about freedom from homosexuality through Jesus, but they should also be compassionate toward the individual caught up in the lifestyle or struggling with same-sex attractions… and it should be their desire to help the struggler. Love and truth must go hand in hand. One without the other benefits no one.
Q. Someone I know and love is gay. It’s hard to help them when they believe they are born that way. I’m not sure what to think? Is it possible they are correct in their thinking?
A. No! Contrary to all the media hype and propaganda, there has not been any conclusive or compelling empirical evidence showing any absolute biological, genetic, or hormonal causation for homosexuality.
Q. Our son (or daughter) has just told us he’s gay. What do we do?
A. This can be a time of intense emotions for all involved and trigger harsh reactions and cloud your response to your loved one. Here are some practical things to do to direct your emotions in a positive way.
1.Take a deep breath and pray… drawing close to God! He understands what you’re feeling!
2.Listen; keep communication open with your child.
3.Learn about the development of homosexuality… seek resources and do your homework!
4.Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of your loved one as you knew them.
6.Stay close to God. As parents, communicate and pray together. Prepare for the good and the bad. Never cease praying.
Q. My friend (or child or spouse or sibling, etc.) has just told me they are gay. They say they are truly happy for the first time in their life. They are finally living the life they are meant to live. Can this be true?
A. Your loved one probably does feel this way. I can say from experience, choosing to finally live the lifestyle can make you feel you are finally living true to yourself. Your loved one no doubt feels that he/she has found a person, as well as a community that understands, accepts and doesn’t judge him/her. What’s happening is your loved one is fulfilling the desires of his/her flesh and not hiding them any longer; therefore, he/she may feel happier than ever before… or for a very long time.
The key for your loved one is to realize it is not too late to turn back. The key for you is to pray that he/she becomes as miserable as possible, as soon as possible, and that God will protect him/her through it.
Q. My son and his partner (or daughter and her partner) want to come home for the holidays. What should we do?
A. It may be helpful to ask yourselves a couple questions. What would God want you to do? What would you do if your son or daughter was not married and living with a person of the opposite sex and wanted to come home for the holidays? You need to take time to process the situation and seek wisdom. As parents, you must pray together and make your decision together. Actually, it’s important for all family members to present a united front, whatever the decision. Your decision should reflect your moral standards for your home. Make these standards clear. For example, you may decide to welcome them home but tell them they will not be allowed to sleep in the same room and they are not to show physical affection toward each other. Remember, you want to love them but not condone the lifestyle.
Q. What if they do not agree with our rules for our home?
A. Don’t be manipulated! Usually, in this situation, if you give an inch, they will take a mile. Your first priority is to please God. It may not be easy, for fear of losing your child, but you must hold to your godly standards for your home.
Q. Churches seem to be all over the place when it comes to ministering to the homosexual. How can my church effectively love the homosexual and still hold to the truth of God’s Word?
A. The leadership must desire to be a church body that represents the fullness of Christ’s ministry and that would mean ministering to those struggling with same-sex feelings and those affected by homosexuality. Hopefully, your church is a place where the truth is spoken in love; and the actions of the body reflect Christ’s love. There should be a focus on the balance of truth and grace. The body can then understand the sin issue, but also understand there is hope in Christ for those affected by homosexuality.
A powerful ex-gay testimony from the pulpit can be a wonderful witness to the promise of hope that can be found in the power of Jesus Christ. It’s helpful if the leadership is knowledgeable of resources (biblically based) available to the struggler or those affected by homosexuality. If the church does not have an ex-gay ministry of it’s own, a connection with one can be helpful. A list of helpful resources, including books and websites should be available. Fellowship and discipleship through Bible studies and ministry activities is extremely helpful for everyone, including the one seeking to come out of homosexuality.
Q. Is the church really that important for a person to overcome homosexuality?
A. The answer to that is a resounding, yes! More important than a pure social “ex-gay” ministry or one based on psychology where there is a continual rehashing of your past, is the teaching of the Word, enabling the “overcome” to grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ… and to grow in an intimate relationship with Jesus. But, it is equally important for the one seeking to overcome homosexuality to find good fellowship through their church family. Without it, many fall away!
Let me just end this section of the website by stating one more time what thousands of “ex-gays” have found to be true. The hope of overcoming homosexuality… the hope for true change comes in Jesus and His Word! Have you found that hope? Perhaps you’ve asked Jesus into your life, but you have been so hurt in your past, you can’t believe you’ll ever be whole? There is hope! God has a wonderful purpose and a plan for your life. Seek Him, live according to His promises and hope in Him!
“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord (Lamentations 3:35-36 NIV).”
This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: “I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you” (2 Kings 20:5 NIV).